humanbeyondrepair vol. 1

by Lightning Pill

(free) 02:05
(free) 04:19


this album is two things to me: 1) a trilogy album that's basically about what it is like having Asperger's Syndrome and 2) a test to try and work within your means. Allow me to break the second one down first.

This album was made using my laptop, keyboards, and a microphone. This album would have been made with two keyboards, but the more superior keyboard died in the middle of this recording. So, everything in this album is aided using one keyboard. But that's irrelevant information.

The reason I created humanbeyondrepair was my way to try and get into the mind of people who have Asperger's Syndrome. I was diagnosed with this since I was 3. Since then, I have been obsessed with music (mostly, listening to it), and wound up finding out through the internet that there are many artists from Gary Numan to Craig Nicholls to Ladyhawke who have Aspergers. While the far latter wrote about her experience with Asperger's, I felt like not enough artists give people a good idea of what it is actually like to have it. In this poses a problem.

The problem is that it would be impossible for me to try and write from various perspectives. (It was hard enough trying to stay in touch with the few Aspie people I know.) So, I kept my attempts to write songs about others to a slight minimum and settled for writing about it from, mostly, my point of view, in hopes that some parts of it matches the truth of other Aspies.

humanbeyondrepair, to me, does not mean I am broken, damaged, or anything of that ilk. It means that I think of myself as a complicated upgrade of humanity. You know how upgrades or improvements of certain products are complicated to people at first, but they eventually get into it? Well, I won't sit here and say that I am a very simple guy, but I can offer you a cheat sheet, provided that you are willing to pay attention to it.

And so, I give you humanbeyondrepair. Honest, playful, serious, funny, sympathetic, messy, insular, inviting. In all of its glory.


released April 15, 2015

Keyboard, laptop, vocals: Chris B.



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Lightning Pill: turning the playful into something serious since 1988. Various genres will be covered on this site, so hopefully, you are into surprises!


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Track Name: The Aliens Have Landed
A gentle kind of anarchy
Down at the AANE
You'll never know our infamy
Simply by looking at me, see

I'm some kind of anomaly
But I'm nobody's freak
So, be mindful of your approachig me

The aliens have landed
We have come to invade your city with love

Have you ever felt like you didn't belong
On the city bus you'e riding on
This is social dissonance
With assistance of the ignorant

Who are you to say
I'm nothing like you
Hell, you might be right

Because the aliens have landed
And we hope it is with peace that you've come
Track Name: Mr. Spock's Illegitimate Children
Mr. Call it as I see it
Ms. Say it like I mean it
Mr. cut 'em like a razorblade
Ms. sugar in the acid tongue

Mr. Spock's Illegitimate Children
Try to be honest, and its like you cannot win
This game

Mr. More Thought than emotion
Ms., Must you be so open?
Mr. My love can't get more strange
Ms. Bitch, are you insane?

Mr. Spock's Illegitimate Children
Try to be honest, and its like you cannot win this game
Try to be open, and its like you're losing all the same

Mr. Spock's Illegitimate Children
Try to be honest, and its like you cannot win this game
Try to be open, and its like you're losing all the same
I can't be open, for these people drive me quite insane
It's safe to say I'm minutes closer to quitting this game
Track Name: Anomaly Jones
Oh no, it's Anomaly Jones
The never quite right in the dome
He's not like you and me
He'll how could he be
He'd be more in line, if he
only tried

What's going on, Anomaly Jones
How are things hanging at home?
How's your mom and dad?
Controlled your illness yet?
Oh, there's no illness there?
What is it then?

Go home, Anomaly Jones
You aren't the type I want to know
Your freedom is a threat
Something I just don't get
You'd be more grounded
If we dragged you down some

What's wrong, Anomaly Jones?
Need to phone your home?
Track Name: The Anxiety Bridge
You will find me
On the bridge of anxiety
Demons at my feet
And they are daring me
To race my way through
Find out what I'd fall to
Or turn like a coward
And run back to you

This is where you end
And I begin

No need to wonder if
That is where freedom lives
Survivors all look happy
That's what they want for me
"Come on over! You're missing out on the fun!"
This is where I must stare down the demons and tell them all:

This is where you end
And I begin

It's a long way down
And a long way over
("Come on over! You're missing out on the fun!" )
Track Name: No Filter
Born without the filter,
I can warm hearts
I can burn bridges
I can make magic
I can win a war

Born without a filter
I can expose negatives,
A black light
Of this filthy sheet called life

And I don't think you can handle it
In fact, you'd rather dismantle it
I doubt you'd want to gamble it
The way I set forth the truth

As I walk this winding street
I see monsters
I see morons
I see dead people lying

As I attempt to save my precious teeth,
There comes angels,
Then come devils
There's a storm that I can crack at anytime

And I don't think you can handle it
My neck, you'd rather strangle it
Than to work at the angle from which
I deliver it to you

And I don't think you can handle it
In fact, you'd rather dismantle it
I doubt you'd want to gamble it
The way I set forth the truth
About you
Track Name: Routine (Interlude)
Where there is routine, there is rhythm
Where there is rhythm, there is order
Where there is harmony, there is no chaos
Where there is chaos, there is...
Track Name: Too Comfortable
I don't mind watching old reruns
Or timing the morning sun
It's what I know
I don't mind everything's the same
If the scripts don't always change
If it's what keeps me comfortable

Nothing frightens us more
Than the unknown
Don't you know?
Nothing frightens us more
Than the unknown
Don't you know?
So, don't get too comfortable

Spin the cycle, so I know
The axis isn't spinning out
Of it's control
Try and catch a runaway train
to hell
It's so taxing
upon the mind, body and soul

It's on the way
It's coming for you
With a quickness
Like an airborne sickness
Track Name: The World's Not Made For Me
Track Name: Sanctuary/Fear None/Rosie Teaflower Speaks
I'll run and hide
From the sharpest knives
That'll carve my dreams to nightmares
I'll sacrifice
My social life
As if they'd even care
Everything's here

My memories here
My freedom is here
Even I'm here
Sometimes, I dread the day I leave this place
I call my sanctuary

Decorate my temple
Preserve my fragile mental
Make this my world
I'm dreading with annoyance
The ones who will destroy this
A place I call home

Nothing to explain
Nothing to lose
Nothing to gain
Everything's the same
That's how it will maintain

I'm visiting the ones I love
Take a road down to the ones I love

Ain't no love like the one you have for yourself. No protection like the ones you have for your own being. Just remember people respond to the distance you give them. Give them an inch, they don't want it. They want the amount of inches that'll bring themselves closer to you. You shouldn't at all be worried about the ones who aim to come to you with attacks. They're looking for someone to break, just so they won't feel like the only broken ones there. Someone to shatter. The ones that matter are the ones who sees you as a work of art, even when you are damaged. Who knows you are a fixer upper, but doesn't use you as merely a project for their needs. They see you.